Obedience

Okay dear readers here is the next part of the message, the second challenge that the MASTER gave me a while back. If you remember I said I would follow up my last entry with this, so here goes. It is, you will see related although on a slightly different subject matter. To start with I will have to take you back to November 2001 when my wife left me. (My fault but not related to this entry) This was the beginning of a journey into the wilderness of which I am writing about somewhere else as time permits, however lets stick to this issue here. It was a very difficult time for me, my Dad had just died a couple of weeks earlier and while I was at his I heard the SPIRIT speaking to me about my marriage but all I did was hear , I didn't do anything about it. To cut a long story short I was devastated. I began a spiritual journey in which the LORD would train me, test me and remould me just like the potter in Jeremiah 18 v 4. It was hard, harder than hard but I progressed along, enduring everything that was thrown at me. Until around 10 months later. It was here that I met someone , this someone was a very tasty female of exotic origin and someone that the lads I worked with all had eyes for, but for some reason it was only me she had eyes for. Over a period of time our friendship became more permanent and we became an item. I was separated but still married at the time but I justified this relationship in my own heart because I felt like I deserved some happiness and fun after the last 10 months, of course deep in my heart I knew that the LORD did not approve but I didn't dwell on it I convinced myself He did not mind because I was hurting and He wouldn't want me to hurt. Deep down however I knew my actions grieved Him deeply and brought Him accusations from the accuser of the Brethren. This lady was really good to me ,she made me feel really special and in the circumstances gave me something to look forward too. The LORD kept challenging me on this refusing to leave me alone like a shepherd searching for a lost sheep but I just kept pushing it aside refusing to acknowledge it. This lady was also into the new age and she practiced various things from runes to qi gong, it was at this point that I turned a blind eye to her doing it in my house although I never took part in it. Somewhat like King Solomon did in 1 Kings 11. In reality she was a counterfeit, a deception and I had fallen into satans trap, as time went by I began to come under such heavy conviction that I couldn't say anything when we were together, I was almost mute. However I had gotten used to her and the company was nice, but also I didn't want to hurt her. She went home to her country for a period of time and I began to relax. She came back and I met her at the airport and we drove home, it was nice but that night I just couldn't sleep, I felt like a ton weight was on top of me and I wanted to shout out that "I cant do this". I made some comment the next morning and she went home upset. We didn't talk for a while but slowly drifted back together but when we did the conviction was just as strong and I found myself mute whenever we were together, I literally could not speak. I was like John the Baptists father in the Gospels , I found it a major challenge to even converse with her it was awful. To cut a long story shorter we split up and I said for us not to remain in contact.
This relationship was adulterous, even though my wife had left me I was still married, even if I was not married it was still adulterous and still an abomination before the LORD. Now with the relationship out of the way, the LORD got me back on track and to be honest I have learnt so much from this experience, also because of it I have remained in the wilderness for a season longer but I am richer for it. Then a while after this the LORD began to challenge me about this relationship again, specifically the fruits of it. He has called me to be holy, just as He is holy.1Pe 1:16 Because it is written, Be ye holy; for I am holy. He has called me to bring every aspect of my life under His Lordship, to be clean and to give no cause for His name to be slandered 2 Sam 12:14 Howbeit, because by this deed thou hast given great occasion to the enemies of the LORD to blaspheme me, the child also [that is] born unto thee shall surely die. David because of His adultery with the wife of Uriah had given the enemies of the LORD great cause to slander His name, and he paid for it for the rest of his life.
The LORD reminded me that I am to bring no unclean thing into my house. Deuteronomy 7 v 26, "Nor shall you bring an abomination into your house, lest you be doomed to destruction like it. You shall utterly detest it and utterly abhor it, for it is an accursed thing" He showed me that whatever fruit I had left from the non covenant relationship , it was an abomination to Him and it must be removed. I therefore threw out all the photographs, cards, letters and gifts I had kept from it. Not all at the same time I add, sometimes it took me some time to do but eventually it all went into the bin. One thing I tried to hold onto was a gift from her country which I was quite fond of and I tried to reason that because I kept it in my garden, that technically it was not in my house therefore it was okay, but the LORD said "Get rid of it". I threw it in the bin and I have to say I have no regrets. I now have nothing left from this relationship but fading memories that mean nothing , sometimes I drift back and just thank the LORD for His patience and the fact that He never gave up on me and that He continued to seek out His wandering sheep. I am so glad that my young Lion cubs were not exposed to this , my youngest only meeting her once.
If I had died during this relationship, would I have been saved? Some say "Yes as they believe in a so called shameful redemption but the scriptures speak otherwise in many places. Folks there is no such thing as shameful redemption.  I and others say "No  ( Rev 3v5 being one of a number of scriptures to read concerning such a subject )  I was practicing rebellion and adultery I was bringing shame on the name of the LORD". If I had died in my sin I would have been lost, I am so grateful to the Lord for bringing me out of this and although I have repented completely I feel so ashamed of my sin. I have had opportunities since but I am not going back to Egypt I prefer the wilderness because its the way to the promised land, the LORD has revealed to me what is in the promised land and I will continue to be obedient to my call to contend for it because His name is glorified in it. To you dear believer remember that the devil seeks to bring you down and ruin your testimony and also discredit the LORD of glory, be wise, don't entertain sin, flee from it at all costs. For the record this was back in 2001/02 and I have had a number of opportunities to return to bondage in Egypt as in this article but I have refused for I fear God and love His commands. I will admit that it has been hard at times but when I kneel before Him and He tells me 'well done son' it will be worth it completely. If your a husband or a wife you have an important mandate and position from the Lord, value it, work hard at it and build it upon Jesus Christ the Lamb of God. Love unconditionally and let nothing come before your spouse. My prayer for today is. "LORD, may I always seek to do your will and not mine, may I conform my life to your word and not the other way around , Amen".